The holiday season is fast approaching. How does that make you feel? Excited to see family? Maybe stressed? Sad that you will be taking a friend or random date to the office party? Lonely knowing that you’ll be the singleton at the family dinner… again? Not this year! Because you’re ready to find your one. You have waited long enough. You put in the work and took a good hard look at yourself, embracing or fixing your perceived flaws, and finding love in yourself first… Now it’s time to let someone else love you too. But don’t just sit there… do something about it! Take action.

Before I tell you what you should do, let me tell you what you shouldn’t do: whatever you have been doing… because clearly it isn’t working, or you would be sitting in your love nest right now and not reading this article. They say, “love is blind.” So close your eyes and let me take over. Follow these 8 tips first. Then go to those 10 places and you will dramatically increase your chance of meeting your soul mate. If you’re ready, keep reading, and then start doing.

  1. Be Open and Ready for Change

These tips might make you feel uncomfortable, nervous, or scared. You might think they are stupid, pointless, or “never going to work.” But just his once, open your mind and your heart, clear out those expectations, get out of your comfort zone and your box, and free yourself from judgment. Try something new and the outcome just might be love.

  1. Create a Sense of Urgency (which you have–the holiday season)

Forget “When the time is right, I’ll meet the right person.” Wrong. Stop waiting. Be proactive. Create the right time. Create urgency now so that you don’t panic later.

  1. Widen Your Net

If you aren’t meeting the right people within your social circles, look outside them. Go online. Ask every close friend you have to set you up with one person who they think could be a fit who is outside of your circle. Get out of your box and experience new things (which I will expand on below).

  1. Be an Equal Opportunity Dater

Don’t think he’s your type? Her looks don’t match your image of Mrs. Right? You’ve never dated someone like “that” before. Try it! Have an open mind and allow yourself to have fun. You just might surprise yourself by who you find attractive and where you discover chemistry. Really, at the end of the day… looks don’t matter. Turn off the lights–can you have a conversation?

  1. Make a Decision.

Don’t “try” to enjoy yourself. Don’t “try” to get out of your box. Just do it. Make a decision. “Trying” is a pre-emptive excuse for failure or not doing it at all. Do your best. Have zero excuses. If you don’t find success, make a mid-course correction and try a different tact. Keep at it until you do find success.

  1. Date LOTS of Different People–At Once!

This is not about juggling, screwing, messing with, or being careless with multiple minds and hearts. This is about being clear with what you need and want in a partner, honing in, then making a choice. After all, how can you make a selection if you don’t have any options?

  1. Date your Ex!

Sometimes it’s not the wrong person. It’s simply the wrong time. And that’s why you should reconsider recycling! If you’re in a new place as an evolved person who has come to a new state of awareness, this might be the perfect time to go backwards. You see, the reason your relationship didn’t work the first time might not have been because you were wrong for each other, but instead because you weren’t in the right place to see just how right for each other you really are.

  1. Put Yourself in the Right Place at the Right Time

It’s true that opposites often attract. The reason being that, if you’re an inquisitive person and so is your mate, you want to learn and explore their interests. You compliment each other. Your strengths fortify their weaknesses and vice versa. You have complimentary needs and therefore need each other in certain ways–and that creates chemistry. But don’t leave it up to chance. This is about putting yourself in the right place at the right time. How? Got to the places where you would “never” think you could meet your mate.

10 Places to Meet Your Perfect Match (and maybe even your Soul mate)

  1. Not a morning person? Wake up early and go to your local café. Different people hang out at the same place at different times. Explore a few different times and see how the energy and patrons change throughout the day.
  1. Only like to workout at the gym? Get outside and take advantage of your environment. Hike. Walk the boardwalk. Go to the ice rink. Join a snow shoeing meet-up group. Learn something new. Work different muscles. And have an open heart. Sweating together has been shown to initiate chemistry.
  1. Always go to the bar where “everyone knows your name?” Change it up and try a new place every time you go out. Once there, talk to people. Ask questions as if you’re a tourist and you are on vacation–we tend to be more social when on vacation.
  1. Take a class in a topic that doesn’t interest you. Yup! Intimidated by technology? Go to the Apple store and take one of their group classes. Enroll in a CPR class. Try a cooking workshop. Don’t be a downer though. Have a positive attitude and be open to learning (and meeting someone).
  1. Afraid of heights? Go to a ropes course or zip-lining park. When you’re scared you will be more inclined to reach out to others for comfort.
  1. Instead of going out during the weekends with your friends (which is date night, btw), go out mid-week. You could meet someone who is also there with friends or maybe finishing up a business meeting.
  1. Go to places where you are in the know. Wine snob? Go to a big wine store and walk around perusing the bottles. If you see a potential partner who looks lost or confused, ask them what they are looking for and give suggestions. Go to the grocery store and ask that attractive person “how are you planning on cooking that?” People love to talk about their knowledge.
  1. Throw a party and ask everyone to bring a friend who you don’t know.
  1. Don’t like clubs? Go out and dance! Letting go physically can help you to drop your mental guard too. Plus you just might remember how fun it is to move and feel sexy. Perfect time to meet a mate.
  2. At a restaurant get up several times and walk around. Go to the bar, go to the restroom, go outside for a breath of fresh air. Walking around gives the other diners an opportunity to see you, get up and walk over to strike up conversation.

The adrenaline of trying something new can awaken chemistry in you, which radiates out and attracts others in. But don’t go out “looking” for your love. Instead simply look to connect with someone, have a conversation, share a laugh, and open yourself up for the possibility of something more. No pressure.

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