How do you heal emotional pain? According to author Kai Hu of WellBeingAlignment.com, acknowledging the pain is an important part of the healing process. The Empowering Team likes the compassionate tools she gives us to help with the process.
Acknowledging emotional pain may seem like an obvious step in the healing process that everyone is already doing. If you’re in pain, you already know it, right?
Not always. Many of us have a surprising amount of emotional trauma in our energy field that lies below our conscious awareness. In some cases we might be aware of some of the symptoms of an energetic wound within us, but we are unconscious of its deeper CAUSE—a core place of constriction where Life Force is blocked. The effects of this blockage can range from uncomfortable feelings of mild emotional pain at one end of the spectrum to severely debilitating physical and/or mental dis-ease at the more serious end of the spectrum.
It is common for us to become practiced at denial of emotional pain in order to function in our lives. Unconsciously we have learned how to keep the pain at bay so we can “do” our daily lives with some kind of balance. Often, the energetic imbalance within us actually causes us to create more imbalance as an attempt to gain equilibrium. And our only awareness of this might be a sense of feeling “off” or living our lives with limited inner resources, constantly looking for something outside ourselves to “fix” us.
In order to heal emotional pain, we need to invite it up into our conscious awareness. We need to care enough about ourselves to spend time with ourselves, looking within and truly BEING with ourselves. Doing this we find an infinite Source of emotional support and well-being that is always available to us from within.
Shame Is at the Core of All Wounds
Emotional pain is a gateway into an energy wound. So-called “negative”emotions are flags to let us know when something needs to be healed and/or released from within. Our feelings give us our most direct access into the center of an energy constriction. Zeroing in on our feelings help us consciously get right to the core, the root cause of all pains/wounds—physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, or psychic.
At the core of all wounds is a thought/belief that we are not good enough, that we are bad, that we’ve done something wrong. This thought seed usually gets planted in us as children when our energy fields are wide open and we are scolded for doing something or being a certain way. This generally comes about from innocently rocking the boat of a caregiver and unconsciously triggering their unhealed wounds, which then gets projected out onto us.
Most of us were conditioned to believe that it isn’t okay to feel our feelings, especially the really strong emotions that threatened our caregivers’ world when we expressed them. So, sometimes unconsciously and with good intentions, they did whatever they could to influence us to bury the feelings.
Then, as young children we carried this belief seed of “not good enough/bad/did something wrong” and usually another reprimanding “event” occurred that caused the belief seed to take root and grow. Each time we were reprimanded and made wrong for being who we were, the “I am bad” thought was rethought and eventually became a belief.
The Core Wound in Emotional Pain Becomes Unconscious
As we moved through childhood, adolescence and into adulthood, a self-preservation component of our psyche pushed this debilitating belief down into the subconscious. This part of us was driven by the instinct to do whatever we could to survive as best we could under challenging circumstances, including turning away from the emotional pain and denying—even to ourselves—that it existed. Unfortunately, even though the “I am bad” belief may now be unconscious, the energy of it still operates in our lives, sabotaging our self-empowerment, fulfillment, joy and well being.
Some of us have had the experience of feeling emotionally “frozen” or cut off from our feelings. We know we feel SOMETHING but the feelings themselves are murky and indefinable. Again, this is the act of a part of us that tries to take care of us in the only way it knows how—to “freeze” up the emotions in order to protect us from the intolerable emotional pain of the shame and powerlessness we feel when we think we are “bad” at the core. In the whole spectrum of human emotions, this is the feeling that is absolutely the most painful.
Consequently, as we go about our lives, we may be aware of a vague feeling in the background that ranges anywhere from uncomfortable to intolerable emotional pain and suffering, without even having a word to describe or define it.
In this case, it takes practice to allow ourselves to actually feel what is really going on inside—to give PERMISSION to ourselves to feel it.
The Core Belief Needs to Be Seen as False
The essential realization that we all eventually come to in our healing is that the core belief of being inherently bad and having done something wrong is COMPLETELY untrue. Here is the truth:
You’ve never been bad. Neither has anyone else. We all carry all the attributes of pure divinity of Source itself! In our essence we are the highest vibration of light and love.
Likewise, you’ve never done anything wrong. Neither has anyone else. Everything that anyone has ever done has always been an attempt to take care of themselves with whatever inner resources they had at the time.
This might be hard to take in because we are conditioned to make ourselves and each other wrong. To heal, we must learn to see ourselves and each other from the eyes of Source.
And how does Source see us? With unlimited, unconditional love. It sees us as sparks of Itself who have come to this plane to go through experiences, make mistakes and learn from them. In each experience we have the choice to let go into love and learn to trust it or to contract and cause ourselves misery. Depending on how we “do” in each circumstance, we create the next set of circumstances. ALL of it is part of the larger curriculum of our Evolution—to awaken to our Divinity.
And there is no judgment in any of it. There is only learning and love, learning and love …
Retracing Our Steps and Bringing Truth to the Untruth
Emotional wounds are the energetic cause of all other wounds and dis-eases. To heal ANY wound, we need to retrace our steps back into ourselves. We need to become CONSCIOUS of the belief that we are “bad” that is running the whole show of suffering, and the immense shame and feelings of powerlessness that result from that false belief.
It is very important to not make ourselves wrong for having this “bad” belief, which only adds another layer of shame. The more you check this out, you’ll see the subtle ways this belief can show itself. It can even try to co-opt the healing process by making you wrong or bad for not healing fast enough! Or not doing it the right way, etc.
Once we acknowledge and are conscious of emotional pain, the next step is to call in love from Source. We can also use self-inquiry to ask to be shown the truth so we can see for ourselves that we are inherently good.
As we become conscious and aware of the falseness of the belief we’ve held about being “bad,” we start to see and EXPERIENCE—for the very first time!—the truth of our goodness. At this point, emotional pain begins to unwind organically, automatically.
When we experience the reality of our goodness, a change in consciousness happens and miracles of healing occur. We see that the core belief of being “bad” was just a misunderstanding that grew out of an untrue thought that we believed as a result of the things that happened to us.
From “Emotional Pain: To Heal It You Need to Acknowledge It” by Kai Hu on wellbeingalignment.com